Friday, May 3, 2013

This I Promise You- Tressa Messenger

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This I Promise You...Tressa Messenger
You only get one first of anything, and no matter the time,or space, or age, you never forget your firsts.
When thirteen year old Nicky Moore’s parents decide to buy a small summer beachcottage at Atlantic Beach, North Carolina, she thought her life would end. Itdidn’t matter the beauty of the area - land and water as far as the eye couldsee - she was bound and determined to make her family’s summer vacation asdismal as she felt. That was until she met a boy from down the beach; abeautiful boy, with the most intense brown eyes she had ever seen and a smilethat could light the ocean on fire. A summer that Nicky thought was doomed fromthe start, turned into a summer that she would never forget; one full offirsts. It was impossible for her to know years later how one seemingly littledecision could change everything forever, but soon, as an adult, Nicky willfind out that everything she once thought were real and the promises once made,were lost in a sea of inner turmoil.

 Why Tressa wrote This I Promise You.....

I'm not even sure where to begin. How do you explain what an impact astory has on one self? This story is one so very special to me and I put a lotof tears into writing it.
After a friend of mine came to me and presented a book idea to me, whichhas happened many times since becoming a writer, immediately the story unfoldedin my mind. I knew the exact story I wanted to tell. A story that I felt neededto be told. It is a story of finding yourself through young love and trying tomaintain that love through life’s obstacles. This story is so very special tome because this story is about me and someone who was very special to me, myfirst love. I am truly honored to be able to share it with you.
My story is not very unlike the one you are about to read. I fell in lovefor the first time when I was just 13 years old with the most beautiful boy Ihad ever known, Jeremy Hayes Hewett. Some told me it was just a crush, achild’s fantasy, and some just dismissed it all together. They were all wrong.Yes, I was 13 and that is young, but I knew how I felt and they did not. He wasa truly special person who had the biggest heart of anyone I had ever known. Wedated the entire school year until I moved away at the end of the school year.We continued to stay in touch after I moved away, but long distancerelationships are hard whether you are 13 or 31 and like so many long distancerelationships it didn’t last. Slowly, the once constant letters and phone callsstarted becoming fewer and further in between until they stopped all together.I would always think about him from time to time though whether I was drivingthrough his hometown, or if I heard a certain song on the radio. I sang oursong “I Swear” every night for a year.
Finally, when I was nineteen, I contacted everyone that I could think ofwho knew him or would possibly know how to contact him, and since this wasbefore advances in technology had taken off I decided to leave it up to theuniverse. If we were meant to be, then we would be. As the years went by theuniverse remained steadily quiet, so once again I grew impatient and took itupon myself to try and locate him once more. Unfortunately, this time I didfind out where he was, but what I found out was the LAST thing I had everexpected to hear. My first love had been dead for three years after taking hislife. The impact of his death left me in complete shock, and after the shock,there was guilt. I was utterly consumed by guilt because oddly enough, it hadbeen exactly three years since I had last tried to find him, I felt guilty fornot trying harder. I thought that maybe, had I known what he was going throughI could’ve helped him.
Well, what I can’t do, as much as I wish I could, is go back and helphim, but what I can do now is share this story in the hopes that it may helpsomeone else. So, that is what I have done. He and I may have only had that oneperfect year together when we were kids, but it was a time in my life I willnever forget. I often wonder had he and I stayed together how would our liveshave played out? People always say that if they could go back in time andchange anything in their life they wanted to they wouldn’t change a thing. Butif you knew that was the ending would you change it if you could do it all overagain? I would.

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Cristina Gutierrez said...

Wow. That was heart wrenching. How strong you are to share that! Tressa you need to forgive yourself so you can heal. When someone we care about commits suicide we always look for things we think would make a difference. Since we have no way of knowing what would have helped this can translate into some heavy guilt. Even when we are living in the same house with someone suicidal it is difficult to know how to help. Perhaps if you had found him the first time you searched, things may have ended differently. But it is equally possible things would have ended the same, only you would have been closer to it. I think what I learned from your story is to take no one for granted and take every opportunity to let people know I care about them. I am so sorry for your loss! I wish you happiness.

Cristina Gutierrez said...

Also as well as liking it for the giveaway I also pinned it to my YA Book Board on Pinterest. :-)

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